The Scary Truth About Cheating Spouses

By Marshall Duke

Infidelity. What a scary word. When one thinks of a cheating spouse, one usually thinks of a movie or someone else - rarely do we consider infidelity occurring in our own home. Until the day you suspect you are living with a cheater.

To start, the slow realization of a cheating spouse is a tiny alarm going off on your internal radar. Your spouses comings and goings start to raise your suspicions. Perhaps he/she has many phone calls at strange hours. Maybe your spouse just seems "absent" from your relationship - but happy. Bottom line is, most betrayed spouses can pinpoint the moment when adultery became reality in their life.

While not all affairs are the same, the majority of cheating spouses have some dirty little secrets in common. These same secrets are the tool to your sanity as you can learn these, look for them in your spouse, and then empower yourself to take the action you choose to take.

Cheating spouses hate lying to you - at first. Yes, it is true. Most spouses that are cheating really struggle with the dishonesty at first. Over time, the guilt becomes dull, and lying becomes a way of life and a matter of survival. If your spouse is portraying a very guilty attitude around you of late, you may have caught him/her at the beginning of an affair.

Cheating spouses are the most stressed out human beings you may ever meet. The stress of lying, keeping up two lives, keeping all their stories straight, and trying to keep two partners happy can be over-whelming. While a new affair is not as stressful as one that has been on-going, the majority of cheating spouses sub-consciously wish they would get caught so someone would force them to end it.

Cheaters need modern technology to keep their affair alive and well. Email and cell phones make infidelity much easier to maintain - they also make infidelity much easier to begin in the first place. If you suspect adultery in your relationship, start by going through all email and cell phone accounts. Any questionable email addresses or cell phone numbers should be traced right away.

Not all cheating spouses are degenerate scum-bags. Affairs happen to good people. Yes, affairs can even happen to a spouse that is worth keeping. The fear of being tagged a "degenerate" due to a lapse in moral judgment keeps most cheating spouses living a lie.

If adultery is actually confirmed in your relationship, there are factors you must keep in at forethought. The next days, actions and decisions are all about you, the betrayed spouse. Do not spend your precious energy brooding over on the other woman (or man), do not spend your energy thinking about your unfaithful spouse. You have just experienced a very traumatic experience event that is centered around trust. The misconception is that healing from infidelity involves learning to trust your spouse again. While this might be on your list of future issues to deal with, this should not be your immediate concern. Your first issue to tackle will be to learn to trust YOURSELF again.

Unfaithful spouses thrive off of the self-doubt betrayed spouses allow into their minds. The desire to trust your spouse is stronger than your desire to find out someone you are with is not trust-worthy. When infidelity is confirmed, the first victim of trust-issues to be healed is the betrayed spouse - You. Take all the time you need for yourself and heal yourself before you begin any other adjustments in your life.

Visit for more infidelity resources and a confidential cell phone number trace service.

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