Building Your Self Esteem

Self-esteem is not the same thing as self-confidence. Self-confidence is the feeling that you can do just about anything. Self-esteem, however, is the value that we put on ourselves. How good am I? How talented am I? Am I a good person? A person with good self-esteem is someone who likes if not loves themselves. Not a narcissistic love, but an accepting love. They have a really good sense of "self" -- they can control their internal state. Their actions and behaviors are driven by purpose. There is purpose in what they do and how they feel and how they act. If you feel that you have low self-esteem, don't despair. There are ways that you can improve your self-esteem.

As humans, we often learn by watching others. One of the keys to developing good self-esteem, then, is to watch people who have good self-esteem. People with good self-esteem take compliments well, and accept them at face value. They build off of the acknowledgments of others. They don't deflect compliments or praise -- they accept it and allow it to confirm and establish the self-beliefs that they already have. People with poor self-esteem have trouble accepting compliments and praise -- they don't believe that they have earned them.

One way of helping to improve your self-esteem is to write down the accomplishments that you've managed to achieve successfully. Remember the compliments that you received in doing them. Say them over and over again in your mind, or even aloud. Remember, the people complimenting almost assuredly meant what they said. You need to accept their praise for what you have done. Don't dismiss them out of hand. By saying the compliments to yourself repeatedly, you help to build the foundation upon which your self-esteem will stand.

Often, people who have poor self-esteem are afraid of being "found out". As if they feel that they aren't capable, and if people look too closely, they'll discover this fact. Compliments are dismissed out of hand as merely being polite lies. If you think about it though, why would anyone complimenting you lie? Another thing to think about is, if you manage to accomplish your tasks successfully -- what are you afraid these people will find out about you? Write these things -- these fears -- down, and analyze them. After some sober thinking, you'll come to the realization that your fears are foolish. It is these fears that are crippling your self-esteem, and your ability to get ahead.

You are good enough. When you apply yourself, you are capable. Accept the compliments of others and believe in yourself.

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