The Power of Love - Dating Smart
By Jill Dellamalva
You shouldn't depend on fate to bring "The One" to your doorstep. If you
do, you might have to wait a very long time.
You don't have to be the prettiest girl or the most handsome guy
to be successful at dating. You don't need a huge bank account.
You don't have to drive a new sports car, live in a luxurious home,
have the best sense of humor, or the most confidence. These
things are all desirable; but chances are, they won't keep the
target of your affection around forever.
So what is it that you need to get and keep your love around?
The answer is simple.
Many people who are looking for relationships are searching for someone
to complete them, to make them whole. A person to fill in what is lacking in their lives.
A smart dater pays attention to detail, determines what it is
that the other person is lacking, and ultimately provides it. A
smart dater knows that when you are a source of something another
person wants or needs to be happy, you have power over them.
The first step to achieving power and becoming a smart dater is
to analyze the personality of the person you want to be with. You
must focus in on the characteristic that best defines the person you desire.
Then, you need to use your observations about their personality to determine
what the person needs in his or her life to be happy. Then, figure out the
best way to provide it.
For The Aggressor, love is a sport that is played to win
Let's look, for example, at someone with an aggressive personality. If you're in love
with "The Aggressor", you know that he or she isn't the least bit shy. "The
Aggressor" knows what he or she is after, and thrives on the
challenge of attaining it. Love with "The Aggressor" resembles
a sport, and "The Aggressor" is looking to win. Just as in any sport,
an easy victory can be quite boring and over pretty quickly. Therefore, you need to give
"The Aggressor" a challenge. Do not let your heart be an easy win.
If you do, "The Aggressor" will simply move on to the next person.
When "The Aggressor" leaves you a voice mail to call them back,
*forget* to call. When "The Aggressor" asks you out for a date, every so
often, tell them that you are too busy. Be occasionally moody, selfish,
and difficult from time to time. Now, don't be completely mean -
remember, you must give kindness and affection to "The Aggressor"
as much as you take it away. This will drive "The Aggressor" nuts,
and cause him or her to lose focus of the game. In no time,
you'll be holding the trophy.
For the shy, silent types, win them over with tender affection
Perhaps your love interest is not "The Aggressor". Perhaps he or she
is reserved and shy. This personality type tends to be naive, innocent,
and maybe lacking in relationship experience. Your task, then,
is to initiate "The Quiet One" into the realm of relationships and
dating. Give "The Quiet One" something to get excited about. Shower
"The Quiet One" with frivolous gifts and attention. Approach "The
Quiet One" with zest, energy, and an ultra-positive attitude about
life. Essentially, bring "The Quiet One" out of his or her shell,
making them feel comfortable with you. In return, "The Quiet One"
will become devoted to you, almost dependant on you for fun, activity, and love.
Elitists have to do one better than the Joneses. Uniqueness is the key
There are a multitude of different personality types that you will find out
in the dating world. Another possible focus of your desire might be "The Snob".
This person needs an average Joe or Jane to bring them down to earth. They won't
want to stoop to your level to give you a second look - but be persistent. "The Snob's"
affection is earned. The more affection you give, the more flattered
"The Snob" will become. This is because "The Snob", by inclination of his or her
personality, likes to be given things. However, instead of spoiling "The Snob"
with things he or she already has, provide things that are unique and different.
Cook "The Snob" romantic dinners at home, and skip the fancy restaurants.
Pick the female "Snob" wildflowers instead of buying traditional roses. "The Snob"
can then brag to other "Snobs" that he or she has someone "different" and "better"
than everyone else. And as you know, "Snobs" always like to have things (and people) that
everyone else doesn't.
Beware the Drama Queen (or King). Patience and unconditional compassion are a must
Another personality type you might come across while dating is "The Soap Opera Star".
If you have the saintly qualities needed to love "The Soap Opera Star", then you truly
are a saint. This type of person eats, sleeps, and breathes drama. Take the normal ups and downs in
life, and multiply them by 1000. Such is the life of "The Soap Opera Star".
"The Soap Opera Star" misplaces his golf club, and everything
that happens from that point on in the day is absolutely ruined.
Don't be surprised if "The Soap Opera Star" takes his or her troubles
out on you. If for some reason, you want to love this *gem*, patience, understanding
(even if you must pretend) and the ability to console are qualities
you have to put forth. "The Soap Opera Star" will end up completely
in love with you, because only you seem to "understand what they're going through".
If you decide to leave "The Soap Opera Star", however, he
or she may end up stalking you.
When your date has a perpetual rain cloud overhead -- bring your umbrella
Another *popular* personality is "The Complainer". Everything annoys "The
Complainer". You can even tell "The Complainer" that he or she looks nice today,
and they will respond with a very serious, "Why do you have to lie
to me? I gained 5 pounds in the last week, my pants look too short,
and I'm having a bad hair day. I definitely know I can't trust you
to tell me the truth." If you truly love "The Complainer", you must
never take their words to heart. You will also need to keep providing them
with more topics to complain about, like a drug supply to an addict.
Bring up topics that you know they love to moan about. They, in turn,
will provide you with hours of one-on-one conversation. You'd better
have a good ear to listen, and be able to support them in their
outlandish claims. Don't expect to do too much talking yourself. "The
Complainer" will love you to death with words. Literally.
All in all, no matter what type of person you are trying to win over,
you can do it with a little bit of common sense and consideration. Analyze the intended
recipient of your affections. Think your way through the situation. That's all it takes.
The power of love is in your hands.
About the author: Jill Dellamalva writes for Singles Dating 247.com -
If you are single and looking for love then this is the site for you.
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